Closing the door
I'm still catching up with my entries. This actually occurred earlier in the month, so my entries are now out of sequence, but what the heck. There's a part 2, sort of, that I hope to post sometime in the next few days.
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Ever since Ron and I decided to have a go at just being friends, things have been hit and miss. Sometimes I'd have a good time with him and feel very relaxed, but more often than not I continued to feel an uneasiness with him that I didn't think would go away. That's just the way it is sometimes. There are only a few people in this world that I can feel completely comfortable around, and I just figured that Ron wasn't one of them. It wasn't his fault or mine, it was simply a lack of chemistry. It was one reason why we didn't make it as a couple, and I thought it was so lacking that we couldn't even be really good friends.
Then a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Chocolat. After the movie, we went to - where else - Death By Chocolate, to grab something to eat. Ron had eaten before the movie and just wanted dessert, while I hadn't eaten yet but could think of nothing but chocolate after seeing the movie.
Our conversation was casual, with our usual amount of reserve, until I brought up the subject of communicating online. At that point, Ron said, "I wasn't sure if I should tell you, but I've been thinking about putting an ad in Webpersonals."
The thought of Ron dating other women would have killed me a few months ago, but now I was nothing but pleased, and I told him so. (I could not help but be slightly amused as well, at the thought of him finding romance over the internet when he was barely web-literate when I met him, but I kept that to myself.)
After his confession, both of us loosened up. We were able to talk to each other in a way we hadn't been able to before, not even when we were dating. It seemed to free us somehow. I was glad that he had told me he was getting back into the dating game, and I think he was happy to have my support.
It's something I knew all along, but that evening, I felt the door officially being closed on any chance of us getting back together. And it didn't sadden me anymore, because a new door was being opened. Corny but true.
At the same time, I've been through too much with him to belive that things are always going to be this smooth from now on, but I hope we've turned a corner in our strange relationship. I believe Ron feels the same way. A couple of nights later, he called me to say how much he enjoyed the other evening and that he was happy to have a friend to talk to. He'd never said anything like that to me before.
I have to admit, I was touched. He doesn't seem to have too many friends - at least, no one with whom he spends time regularly. In some ways he's even more of a loner than I am. I think when two loners get together, we can miss each other completely, or we can find a connection that is good and fulfilling. Despite our solo tendancies, I hope we're on a path to the latter.
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